Day: 3 May 2013

DADDY’S GIRL- ME AND MY DAD.
This week, after many months of being unwell, my daddy passed away just 2 months shy of his 77th birthday. It was heart wrenching. In the past couple of years his health had declined with numerous ailments. Chronic arthritis, a type of sleep apnea, a dislocated shoulder, but the most deadly of them all, was a slow lung disorder that had been creeping up for years. His oxygen was really low, and therefore it looked as if he was nodding off asleep a lot. Some people in public may have even thought he was drunk on occasion. But no- as his oxygen stopped getting around his body and brain, he was slowly falling unconscious. His doctors used to tell me ‘’don’t worry, that’s what old folks do- fall asleep’’ etc.
My girl friends and I even used to joke and laugh about how we had photos of dad all around the world, Paris, Venice, Europe, all fallen asleep outside famous cultural monuments. Imagine how guilty I felt two years ago when a doctor clarified that my dad was literally suffocating slowly before our eyes and it was unstoppable. Dad had always insisted on keeping all the windows of the car and home wide open deeply inhaling for fresh air. It broke my heart to have to try and explain to him that it wasn’t the air and no amount of window opening would help his oxygen levels.

DADDY WITH A BELLINI- OUR FAVOURITE DRINK.
In the past two years I really began to understand what a carer goes through. Whilst working and playing hard, I took multi tasking to a new level by also being on call for any of dads needs 24-7. If he fell down at 4am, I’d jump in the car and go and pick him up; I’d drop off his shopping and groceries during my lunch hour at work. He was adamant he would never move out of his own home for more focused care. I know after sharing these stories with you in the past, that there are many young VOICE readers who also care for their loved ones. My utmost respect goes out to you. For two years it nearly brought me to my knees. How many of you manage over a lifetime during your childhoods I have no idea.

DAD DOING HIS USUAL SOCIAL BUTTERFLY HOSTING WITH A BOTTLE OF ROSE.
I will try not to focus on dad’s final years when I think of him. He wasn’t always immobile and dependent. In fact, he was fiercely independent and bolshy.

AT ONE POINT DAD WAS NEVER SEEN WITHOUT A RED TIE- RED FOR LABOUR!
Dad was born on July 1st 1936 in Mombasa, Kenya to the infamous Kenya Dotiwala’s – a very affluent doctor couple. The Dotiwalas in Mombasa were an extremely well-respected and wealthy family – dads father –Doctor Dotiwala -was very renowned. Dad had 4 brothers. Back then they were one of only two families in Kenya that owned a car and a TV. Every time dad told me that I’d dismiss it as silly, but at the church service last week, his Kenyan peers told me it was fact.

DAD AND MUM ON A BOAT HAVING FUN- SOMEWHERE, IN THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
Dad met my mum (Roshan), in 1967 in Pune University (India), when he had travelled to study. Dad was a Bachelor of science (BSC), mum was a bachelor of arts (a BA student). Dad always joked that mum had hunted him down and begged him to marry her. They got married in India on 15th July 1967 and came to England on 8th February 1968. When they travelled across oceans between India, Kenya and England my dad boasted that every night they had sat and dined on the ships captains table.

After studying and marrying, on his return to Mombasa, Dad became a Customs and excise officer in east Africa. One now infamous night in 1968, Kenyan Asians with British passports were told they had days to leave Kenya, and flee to the UK if they wanted to keep their English citizenship. Dad fled (from a life of opulence, prestige, wealth and servants) with mum arriving in London practically penniless.
He joined the civil service in London before becoming interested in politics where he met his lifelong best friend- Paul Boateng. Dad, Paul and their various Labour party ‘‘comrades’’, like Councillor Colum Moloney fought tooth and nail for the community in Brent during the 70’s and 80’s. Paul did so well he became an MP, during his victory speech he said: “We can never be free in Brent until South Africa is free too.” He then famously declared, “Today Brent South, tomorrow Soweto!”. He became the 1st black cabinet minister in 2002, and then a Lord in 2010! Dad was always so proud of him and his wife Janet.
As I grew up I watched and heard Paul and daddy saying things like ‘’ my colour is part of me but I do not choose to be defined by my colour.” A lot of what I am now makes total sense when I look back at these influences. This week dads neighbours and friends told me that dad used to help everyone on Stonebridge estate, (where he lived), people who were at risk of going to prison or being evicted- dad would accompany to court and ensure they knew their rights.
At dads funeral Paul Boating gave a truly passionate and powerful eulogy, highlighting dads lifelong African influences followed by Councillor Moloney from Brent, who also spoke about dad. ‘‘He was my mentor- a minefield of knowledge and facts and had a very strong argumentative opinion’’ (at which point my other half glanced at me with a knowing eye LOL). Councillor Moloney added ‘’he knew all the bad men and others on the estate and helped connect their needs and stories to me in my weekly political surgery’’. Dads neighbour and friend Bernadette Walsh said ‘’once MP Dawn Butler came to visit us and your dad told her where to go in no uncertain terms after she had wiped £60,000 off the Brent budget’’.
Daddy’s friend Dulcie who owns the Trinidad Roti Shop in Harlesden said ”once a whole bus load of people in Stonebridge were terrified as a gang of young boys held up the bus with their pitbull dogs and forced it to stop…the driver and passengers looked terrified, but then your dad got on the bus 60 seconds later and the boys told the driver ‘we were holding the bus so my granddads friend Doti could get on!”

So daddy wasn’t always the elderly dependent man I witnessed recently.
My aunt Zareen- a professor in Boston, USA recalls ””your dad lived for several years with our family in Poona and went to school and college there. He had a very large circle of friends and endeared himself to them. People have many fun memories of Doti, as he was called. Once a policeman stopped him when he was siding a bicycle without a light and wanted to fine him. He looked at the policeman undaunted and said with confidence: “Go away. You can’t do a thing to me. I am a British citizen”. And he bicycled away, leaving a dumbfounded policeman just staring. For this and many fun things he did he is well remembered by his old circle of friends. ”

It’s interesting that his best mate Paul is of Ghanaian and Scottish background. He loved a fellow African. Dad’s carer Giusi (pronounced ‘juicy’),was of Ghanian and Italian descent and was sent to dad and I by God in his final months. Giusi went above and beyond her job role. She was thoughtful, kind and cheerful. She made life calmer for both dad and myself with her great ideas and solutions to every problem.Giuisi and dad were like good friends debating, gossiping and arguing over all dads rants. I will forever be indebted to her and Saga Homecare as well as Vernetta Beswick and Winston from Hillside Housing.

My memories of dad are ;
He was the man that a 7 year old Jasmine ran to the door to meet every night when he came home ….as he always had a red packet of Malteasers for me!
He encouraged mum to give me a pocket money raise at aged 10, after that he and I were known as the ‘’gang of 2’’
He insisted on sending me to ballet classes and at our annual ballet shows he was the embarrassing dad that stood up and clapped the loudest and wanted everyone to know I was his daughter
After he and mum separated when I was 7, he was allowed Saturday afternoon custody of me and would take me to a local restaurant – where he would help me with my homework and I would excitedly order ‘’red chicken’’ (tikka) -I got my taste for fine dining at an early age. Smile.
Every holiday we took as a family, I’d have photos of dad asleep outside the Eiffel tower, st marks square and on the cliff tops…we all laughed back then that dad was always dropping off….little did we know it was the respiratory lung disease beginning its slow deadly attack on his system which lasted many years
Dad once told a boyfriend I had at school, to get out of his house as ‘’no way in hell is a boy with an earring a real man and suitable to be seen with my daughter!’’
As soon as I educated dad in the eighties about café lattes and bellinis, he would never drink a ‘’common coffee’’ again
He wasn’t as marketing savvy as he liked to think-being addicted to can upon can of red bull in his old age -convinced it would ‘’give him wings’’/ energy!

Dad was born to be a party man-he was a night owl and wouldn’t ever be home before 2am or later. My own friends would often inform me the next day that they’d seen dad out partying at 3am on their way home! He would do anything not to have to go home. He wouldn’t care where he was, as long as if was out and about in public with people.
Once he convinced my whole girls brigade troupe from the church next door, to come on a ‘’free weekend to Brighton’’, we all ended up at the young socialists political convention!
Because dad was such a staunch Labour supporter I naturally veered to being a total Tory- once dad was furious with me that I was pictured in my weekly newspaper column with Boris Johnson ‘’you’re an embarrassment to me!’’ he screamed! LOL
He would notoriously forget all our birthdays and anniversaries and when confronted would always state ‘’I have the card I just haven’t had time to think about the meaningful words in them yet!!!’’
He was an obnoxious wannabee snob- I couldn’t think of becoming an air-hostess at the age of 9 as ‘’those girls are merely glorified waitresses in the sky!’’
He was a glutton. Any leftovers on anyone’s plate would be gone if dad was around. My childhood best friend and I called him the human dustbin
In later years his addictions aside from red bull were copious amounts of coffee and anything edible-especially his favourite-a chicken byriani
When my mates were over, he would eavesdrop at the door to get all the gossip and then tease us about things later
He seemed to model him self on James Dean, with copious amounts of bryl cream slicked back hair-not one which could out of place or he wouldn’t leave the house

AS HIS LUNGS GAVE OUT HE STILL WANTED THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE.

Dad always demanded that I be the best I could be and do whatever I wanted as long as it was legal, I was safe and happy. He stood up for what he believed in ….not to mention being the last man standing on the Stonebridge Estate before it was torn down. In later years when he became a lot less mobile he must’ve contributed to at least 5% of Addison Lee’s annual takings and kept the majority of the local cafes/restaurants open.

Alas, by April 24th 2013, he had gone through too much frustration and pain, suffering and discomfort to continue his fight with life. He lived life to the full, finishing his final hours in public at the Serpentine lake in Hyde Park sitting next to me in the car, watching swans and ducks and cussing me…”THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME… NOW SHUT UP!!!” #Typical
After he was rushed by ambulance to St Marys in Paddington, my other half- James, dad’s child hood friend Manek and I watched dad change several shades of colour over a few hours. After completing all he had left to do on this earth, the next day April 25th, at 2:58pm we watched him give his final two shrugs and let out a sigh as if to say ‘screw this, I’m outta here’… And just like that, he left – ‘peacefully’, just as we had all wanted.

Right up until the final day, his mind was sharper than someone half his age. Not a day would go by without him reading the Guardian and Mirror-true leftie papers. We buried him with them and a jar of his biggest addiction-Nescafe coffee. I know he’s in a coffee shop in heaven right now demanding they heat him up a fresh latte.

Dad may not be walking on this earth anymore but his crazy antics will always live in my heart. His greatest joy this past month was hearing one morning that he had outlived Thatcher. Hobbling around on his zimmerframe with barely the strength to stay upright screaming ‘’that bitch is dead, get me a Captain Morgan and coke!’’

After dad had passed, and we were leaving the hospital, James noticed dads shirt, trousers and shoes were still in the private hospital room, I told him to leave them and the nurses would dispose of them. James didn’t want to ‘’leave dads spirit in the hospital’’ as dad always hated the hospital, so we bagged the clothes up and jumped on the over ground train at Paddington to go a couple of stops to get home. As we exited the station I asked James ‘’where’s dads bag?’’ he looked mortified and we both burst out laughing. The bag was still on the train, ….on its way to Oxford and beyond …just as dad would’ve wanted….travelling, onwards, not ready to go home. RIP Daddy.

PAUL BOATENG WALKED WITH ME TO DADDY’S FINAL PLACE OF REST.

DWELE WOWED THE LONDON JAZZ CAFE!
Dwele at the Jazz Café was a memorable night of good solid musicianship. I caught up with Dwele after the second night of his London gig. He was ecstatic with the audience’s response and loved the chance to gel with the London based supporting band. ‘’I love London accents, the fashion, Adele and this great crowd’’.

Looking forward to this year’s summer festivals including the Essence Festival where Dwele will be performing his new album, Greater Than One, he smiled ‘‘this album has more Detroit artists on it, J Tate, L’Renee, Monica Blaire, and more. I’m a product of old skool Motown, I’ve got to keep the music alive, and I’m coming back to the UK on 10th May for Southport Weekender so look for me there!’’

JASMINE WITH THE MULTI TALENTED CARMIT BACHAR -ON THE PULSE TOUR!

Girl bands. They come. They go. They usually don’t stand the test of time. Alas, once many achieve group fame and success they can’t go the solo road alone.
But it’s a new day. Women keep their fingers in many pies. Their cups are not half empty or half full, as generally, they have a numerous cups. Multi tasking is the name of the female game.
Not long ago, Pussycat Dolls went from a Hollywood burlesque troupe to dominating the pop charts. For a short while. But then music bigwig Jimmy Iovine, decided to scoop the lead member up and catapult her to solo stardom and we assumed the rest would scatter by the wayside never to be heard from again.
But no- PCD’S Ashley Roberts joined the reality TV show path with her appearance in ‘’I’m a celeb get me out of here and Carmit-the fiery red head with attitude and a saucy smirk, kept on keeping on with juggling all her cups.
Thus far she is a relatively new mother, with a 2- year old toddler and hosting a dance tour all over the globe. This week that dance tour hit London.

Don’t get it twisted though this wasn’t just any dance convention. This is the elite of dance conventions.
Imagine if you will in the music world, record label heads like Russell Simmons, Clive Davis, Jimmy Iovine, Tommy Motola and Kevin Liles travelling the world sharing their knowledge with the musicians of the next decade. Or celebrity chefs Delia Smith, Marco Pierre White, Madhur Jaffrey, Gordon Ramsey and Jamie Oliver travelling altogether on a cooking roadshow. Well this is the one the younger generation wants right now-the Pulse Tour!

Dance has never been bigger. As a child, like many other kids, I rocked up to my part time ballet, tap and jazz classes, but back then it was considered elite and niche. Now with a million global TV show competitions, hip hop dancers teaching class at gym chains and more-dance is cool! Refreshingly as many males as females want to dance. Look at Flawless and Diversity!
This weekend the biggest buzz for London’s youth and young adults is for the Pulse Tour at Olympia in West London. Tickets are selling like hot cakes for the classes, which are led by the crème de la crème of the dance world. Every dancer has heard of these very strong dance personalities.
Cris Judd came to light after dating the infamous J Lo, but is a very established choreographer in his own right. Next we have reality TV star and choreographer to all the stars- Ms LaurieAnn Gibson. X Factor straight talking dance guru Brian Friedman and last but not least an incredible dancer- former fiery redhead pussycat doll Carmit Bachar! I caught up with Carmit a few days before the tour kicks off to discuss both of our first loves-the world of dance!

After congratulating Carmit on motherhood and her incredible journey back to showbiz, I confided in her that I was extremely jealous that as a young dancer years back I didn’t have anything as amazing as the PULSE TOUR in London.
She laughed ‘’All of us on the tour say we wish this was around when WE were younger, this has been going nine years in the states but this is our first year in London. Our faculty has around 12 of us and we have our own strong niche in the industry, it’s the premier dance convention that exists right now. If you’re aspiring to be a professional dancer then this is the tour to come and take part in’’.
Each teacher is not just famous, but has their own very unique style of teaching too. Carmit summed it up thus ‘’ with Brian-you never know what you’re gonna get, he’s very detail orientated, fast, always technical but fun! Criss Judd is very stylised, you almost have to wear a fedora whilst doing his moves, you can’t teach it but practice until it sits in your body. Laurie Ann- you never know with her either as she comes from an Alvin Aliey very technique oriented base but she also has her base in the hip hop world , as well as that she works with Lady Gaga and is very jazzy –she’s about the feeling. Me? I’m more on the sassy side like my former PCD style, a mix of street and sexy stuff, I call it sexy street sprinkled with technique-I like lines and flow!’’.

JASMINE WITH CRISS JUDD.
This powerhouse of dance influencers and names came together out of mutual respect ‘’ We’re like the dance power movement globally, we’re friends, family, we’ve grown up together, and have mutual respect, We still take each others classes and we feel honoured to pass down our experience to the next generation of dancers now and you never know what could come of attending this tour. For example, Brian often teaches and if he spots new talent that he likes he hires them for X Factor in the USA!’’.

Back in the USA Carmit has been multi tasking wildly; hosting Pulse Tour conventions, her latest music project- a female duo that she’s a part of called Lady Station and being a ‘‘mommy’ ‘Being a Mother to a 2-year-old baby daughter has been totally worth it. I had a baby! I’m in heaven! It took me out of the game for a minute but was so unbelievable. It’s difficult to juggle, and yes, it would probably be easier for me to have been a housewife, but I’m fortunate to have an incredible partner, we’ve been together 14 years. He’s also in the industry and we share the responsibility, she’s with daddy right now, I’ll be home in a week, this is the longest we’ve been apart.

Looking at Carmit its clear her body has muscle memory and that post baby her body must’ve irritatingly snapped straight back into dancing goddess mode. She point blank denies that ‘’I only recently came back into my body after having my baby, aside from my physical form I still have out of wack hormones, I’ve always been an active and physical person but I had a 24 hour labour and emergency C section. Now I’m still healing and nursing and am very stringent with the choices I make with my food’’.
So she’s not a typical post baby Hollywood nip and tuck mum then? ‘’I did yoga for ages but my weight wasn’t dropping, it was so frustrating, and it was only after a year the weight started going. I did an active regime, with advice from Brian (Freidman), he got me onto Herbalife shakes and a healthy dinner routine. Now I’m back in a healthy zone and conscious about the stuff I put in my body. I look at my blood type to see which foods agree with me. Now I’m older and as a woman I feel the importance of the balance between mind and body. Power yoga is prominent in my life now’’.

I recall my numerous interviews with PCD in the nineties when they first came out recalling that Carmit was the very reason that powerful Jimmy Iovine at Interscope Records even spotted and signed the band. When the group was still doing their burlesque thing in nightclubs, Carmit knew No Doubt band lead Gwen Stefani, who had come to see the PCD girls perform. Gwen bought Jimmy along and the rest was history. Carmit recalls ‘’The way things fall into place there’s never rivalry, I was happy to link the group to Interscope, I met Jimmy through Gwen, Jimmy said what do you do?, I said ‘I’m a Pussycat Doll, he said ‘’what the f*** is that? Next thing, he came to see us with Gwen’’. So without Carmit, music and motoring power couple Nicole and Lewis, may never have been!

Carmit left the group in 2008. Reading between the lines its clear there were fallouts amongst band members. But I didn’t need to scrabble much for information, Carmit was pretty honest about the way history played out ’’We were all fortunate, I choose to remember the amazing times of performing onstage.Its unfortunate that girl groups have this stigma of bitchy rivalry. Unfortunately we fell victim to the same stereotype, but we will always share these amazing experiences. Now everyone’’s spread their wings. I’m happy that Ashley is doing so well here in the UK. In ‘’I’m a celebrity-get me out of here’’ she really surprised me, in the days of the band we used to scream if there was a spider in the vicinity-I cant believe she managed to do so much, I’m so proud of her!’’.

Dancing is a dream job for so many young people- but what are the realities of the job long term? ‘’Its fantastic that dance has been given so much exposure recently; it’s a new era. However when that happens you get a saturated market and now a lot dancers want to do it to be on TV, not to be able to dance. But look at the world now. With dance anything is possible! Dancers get to set trends these days, the market’s changed. If you dance, do it cos u love it. If the commercial world isn’t right for you, just participate in dance classes-this weekend in London has been mind blowing and we will be coming back again to make some of you stars!’’

JASMINE ON THE PULSE TOUR-OLYMPIA-HAMMERSMITH!
The day of the convention was every dancers dream. A whole day surrounded by your peers learning new dance techniques and buzzing off the vibe. It was relaxed but exciting. Like watching Fame. Dancers just letting loose everywhere. Criss Judd was the first teacher of the day and I was mesmerized by his uber calm, very chilled manner. His dance routine was Very Neyo style slow, slick and precise. His teaching method was Inspiring and motivating to the 200 young dancers who were Whooping and cheering this very self confident, zen like man.

JASMINE WITH LAURIE ANN GIBSON!
Next up was one of my favourites. The uber feisty reality tv show star and choreographer to the hip-hop fraternity- Ms LaurieAnn Gibson she stepped up and warned her class that todays routine will be ‘’Rachet’’. Hip-hop was in the house as the jerking, gyrating, pulsing and wilding out began to Nicki Minaj’s hit ‘ Bees in the trap’’
Laurie ann had One tracksuit leg up in typical ja roadman style ,straight up hood. She explained to the class ‘Hip-hop is a feeling, a way of life” her teaching is very musical with her not counting out bars of 8, but half beat boxing with her ‘’”boom ki kat boom!” style phrasing. With demands of ‘’ “Commit to the gangsta”, “I just want you to know you have your rachette degree” and ‘The harder the pressure the bigger the platform coming for you- you’re built for great things”…her class was high by the end!

JASMINE WITH SISCO!
Next up it was the only British choreographer of the day- Sisco who was so reputed for greatness on the dance floor that every other dance teacher present was eager and scared to take his class. His moves were some of the strongest, manliest, fastest I’ve ever witnessed and I could barely keep up. As he demonstrated his routine the class would simply break out into spontaneous applause. The End of siscos class was like a scene out of fame where people were wilding out as if their lives depended on it!!!

I was really looking forwards to host and former pussycat doll Carmits class. As I had guessed she brought a very street sexy style to her routine switching up the days vibe so the girls were hyped to skin out with a few high kicks, pirouettes and floor writhing. Carmit is like the Yardie Pussy Cat Doll with her straight up dancehall moves.

CRISS JUDD WITH BRIAN FRIEDMAN!
Final class of he day was taken by x factor star Brian Freidman who blew everyone away with his personality and got straight into it with absolute intensity and dynamic power. His choreography was more staccato and explosive. He is a straight hip hop dance star and beat boxed his way through teaching the whole routine.
He had us all laughing when he did a particular hop kick step and tipped his hat to Laurie Ann Gibson stating ‘’I watched that video “baby got back” a million times. If I could die and come back as a dance move it would be that! Lol’’ describing his routine he yelled, “Its like you’re going on a journey and your butt is your guide”

At the end of the day all the dancers and teachers sat closely and had a huge group Q&A session where they got to pick the professionals brains.
Dancers asked questions like ‘’How do I stay neat whilst dancing full out?-Brian replied ‘’core work ,planks ,dolphin presses, have a strong inner core and you’ll hit those positions’’
How to stay focused on the road and not get lonely? ‘‘You have to love it. Only love and prayer for it will get you through’’ Laurieann Gibson
How to do face expressions and not feel silly? – Sisco said ‘’like Beyonce-Create an alter ego’’.
Criss Judd added- ‘’dress for the part you want, not the part you have. Do you dance history research on great dancers like Michael peters, Jerome robins, Alvin Ailey., Fred Astaire, the Nicolas brothers. Bob fosse. If you don’t know where we’ve come from you’ll nave know where you’re going!’’
Catch the PULSE TOUR again in a city near you- a mind-blowing day for both dancers and spectators alike!